I am a woman. 

And what that means is I have two obligations: Expecting the best and expecting the worst. 

When I was a girl, school told me to love everyone; they taught me to trust, and to never judge. 

Judgment is the demise of our society. It’s what builds stereotypes, and what breaks relationships. Judgment has never been a favored quality. 

However, I’m discovering I can’t help but judge. 

Recently, I attended a nonverbal communications course at Boston College. During the course, we talked about ways of expression. These forms of expression can cause immediate judgements upon others. Although I do not condone unfair judgment based on immediate reactions from different forms of expression, I find myself at an unbalance. 

 When I became a young woman, my mother gave me pepper spray for when I walked outside, and nighttime lost all its stars, and just became dark. Walking at night was absolutely out of the question unless accompanied by someone else. By someone else, I mean a Man. 

Becoming a woman, I’ve discovered looking over your shoulder isn’t a skill, it’s a necessity, and growing a third eye is just part of growing up. I don’t like my extra eye, but society decided it needed to be there. 

Judge. 

Don’t judge.

 I am torn.

It’s my judgments that protect me, yet I am told otherwise. 

My two faces hurt, and I can’t tell them apart anymore.  

Judge.

Don’t judge.