Sick Days

Sick+Days

Uri Harel

Since the beginning education, every child has tried at least once in their life to convince their parents that they are too sick to go to school. Every kid has pulled their share of different excuses to convince mom and dad that you are too sick to function. Ranging from doing crazy things such as putting a heating blanket over your forehead to give yourself a “fever,” or putting a wet towel on your forehead to make it seem like you are sweating from an illness. Or, my personal favorite, “Mom, I’m not going to school.” There have been many poor excuses in an attempt to stay home from school. Some of the best I’ve heard:

Senior Francisco Melendez said, “Mom if I go to school, I’m not coming home.”

English teacher Mrs. Ducolon said, “I don’t want to go to school because I was afraid of aliens.” This excuse has a back story of they were watching a scary movie during their alien unit in “7th grade science class.”

Senior Zach Colbert, “I once told my mom I was paralyzed so that I didn’t have to go. And, surprisingly, it worked.” This seems very unrealistic but whatever works.

Now that we know a few of the strangest and poorly created excuses to stay home, now my next question is what is your favorite thing to do on a sick day?:

When asked, Mrs. Ducolon said her favorite thing to do when she’s sick, is “Take a nap with my cat.” If you don’t know already, her cat is basically her child.

Senior Francisco Melendez kept his response short and sweet, “Netflix.” 21st century entertainment everybody.

When Zach was asked this question, his response was: “I lay face down on my bed for four hours. No TV, no music, face down. Then my mom gets home – I immediately start mistreating her. Yelling at her for not buying enough Dunkaroos. Then I go to a local party where I was not only not invited, but specifically told not to come, due to pre-existing, outstanding behavior. Basically I would get kicked out because I would drink all their milk and repeatedly ask girls to their own prom. You know what comes next? Laundry. One load, no detergent, hot. I don’t even dry it, I wear it wet. Looks like I just walked out of a Cool-Water commercial. Then I go home, I choose to leave against my will. That’s my day.” No one knows what he means by this.