The Ongoing War

Fall is for football, winter is for hockey and basketball, but what is spring for?

Since the beginning, baseball ruled spring sports at Pentucket. They got the fame, they got the glory, and they got the girls. But in the early 90’s, a new sport came to campus. That sport was lacrosse. The lacrosse players weren’t as talented as the baseball players, but they made up for it with their good looks, awesome hair, and their parent’s money. The campus proved to be too small for both squads and a war erupted. Nobody knows the true origins of the war, but whatever the origins, the war has been long and brutal. The baseball team and the lacrosse team have coexisted belligerently on campus to this day.

Socially, each sport has embraced their stereotypes, but, at the same time, manage to separate themselves from one another. Baseball players span from redneck, country music listening morons to upper class, over confident yuppies. Lacrosse is definitely less dynamic. It’s defined by the lax-bro character: a long, flowy-haired (lettuce) bro wearing a pastel button-down shirt with khaki shorts, tube socks, and boat shoes.

Pentucket lax bro, Senior Brayden Carney described baseball as, “Okay, I guess.” He says lacrosse players are “great athletes, studs all around, and have great style.”

However, Pentucket baseball player Mike Kutcher argues otherwise. He said that lacrosse players “think they have more style than they actually do.” He thinks that they can be good at lacrosse if they were just a regular athlete. Mike argued that lacrosse is “too made up of a sport” and that it is “not America’s pastime.”

Although, Kutcher says that baseball is America’s pastime, lax bro Liam Sheehy says otherwise. Sheehy said that, “Lacrosse is the true American sport because the Native American’s played it.” Sheehy went on to say that lacrosse is “a sport for the true American athletes.” Sheehy also said that baseball players are “a bunch of wannabe athletes with high socks and tights on.”

Another baseballer, sophomore Simon Davis, made some startling remarks about lacrosse players. Simon said, “Lacrosse players are shmucks. While us baseball players are able to control ourselves, the lacrosse players keep on making biased statements against us.” He also went on to call lacrosse a “dumb, girl sport” and said that “guys shouldn’t be playing it.”

Pentucket tennis player, Nick Pitrowski, argued that the baseball team is “soft,” and he said that the baseball team is “not all there, physically or mentally.” Pitrowski said that in a real fight, “the lacrosse team would definitely win; they’re way more athletic than the baseball players.”

Although the baseball and lacrosse team have been battling for years, we may never truly know which sport is cooler.