Fat Probs: Installment I

Danny Dicamillo, Writer|April 27, 2016

Fat Probs: Installment I

Yes, it takes a lot of work to maintain a fit, slim figure. But it’s also a pain to have to be fat person in a skinny world. Still, being fat is pretty awesome.

It would take me a while to enlighten you to all the fat probs out there, so I will be releasing them in installments.

Before we go any further, I need to set a few things straight.

  1. When I say fat, I’m not being insensitive or rude. I’m describing a person’s physical attributes or lifestyle.
    1. Fat (physical attribute): someone who is overweight or obese.
    2. Fat (lifestyle): someone who puts food before all else (including physical activity and body-image).
*someone who lives a fat lifestyle is not necessarily physically fat. Likewise, someone who is physically fat does not necessarily live a fat lifestyle
  1. There is a difference between thick and fat. Please reference the diagram below if you are unclear on this topic:

  2. Fat people are not bad or less than others; I never intend to imply that. Aside from the long list of health issues (http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/effects/) Being fat is absolutely OK and the purpose of this article is to show where our society lacks in weight equality.

  3. If you make fun of us fat people, we will eat you.

The part you’ve all been waiting for…

Fat Probs:

  • Scales
    Wow, thanks for reminding us of that big ole number.
  • Gym class
    If we HAVE to take a gym class we should also HAVE to take an eating class.
  • Bathing suits
    Do you know how long it takes us to stuff our flab into these?
  • Selfies
    Chins: you can never just have one.
  • When a skinny person calls you skinny
    You know we aren’t skinny, so stop making stuff up.

  • When a skinny person calls themselves fat
    That’s offensive to us. We deserve the title of fat – you don’t.

It’s not just us little people that have fat probs either, even some of society’s most successful struggle in their everyday lives:

“I stay fat because it just wouldn’t be fair to all the thin people if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, and thin. It’s a public service really.” -Rebel Wilson

“I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing I could have had a piece of cake today.” -Gabriel Iglesias

Fat? Got a problem? Submit your fat probs for future installments here: http://goo.gl/forms/s9eqIlquHn