Fat Probs: Installment II

Fat Probs: Installment II

Fat People’s Guide to Getting Un-Fat:

  1. Schedule a surgical procedure
    • Liposuction
    • Gastric Bypass
    • Gastric Banding
    • Sleeve Gastronomy
  2. Get a prescription for dieting pills
    • Orlistat
    • Belviq
    • Contrave
    • Saxenda
    • Phentermine
    • Qsymia
    • Dipylidium Caninum
    • Echinococcus Granulosus
    • Diphyllobothrium latum
  3. Just kidding you’re gonna stay fat forever

This week’s greatest hits in annoying things skinny people say:

  • “You’re not fat you’re just confused”
  • “It’s just a phase”
  • “It’s Adam and Eve not chicken and french fries”

Next on the menu:

Fat Probs

  • Buying clothes
    They NEVER have our size
  • Food excitement
    Some people get excited over puppies, we get excited over food
  • Bleachers/Auditoriums
    When we get up to buy food and then we have to squeeze back through the rows of people into our seats
User submitted fat probs
  • “Not being able to borrow clothes from people”
  • “Ordering a four course meal while your friends are all eating salad”

This week’s inspirational quote:

“For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn’t that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you’re average – hey, let’s get a pizza!”

-Jay Leno

Fat? Got a problem? Submit your fat probs for future installments here: http://goo.gl/forms/s9eqIlquHn