The Perks of Having Ovaries

The Perks of Having Ovaries

Jaclyn Pauline

Humans who are under the possession of an overabundance of emotions and estrogen (females) feel as though they got hit with the unfair storms of genetics.  A life rich with testosterone seems much easier than the constant need for absurd ordeals such as eyelash curlers, hair products, piles of bronzer and assorted facial creams.  Many girls obsess over the fact that they have fewer opportunities than men and less power.  However, maybe it is time to look to the bright side of this utter lack of testicles.  And a girl looks close enough, maybe she will realize the perks of having ovaries.

First of all, I have three letters for you: PMS.  The acronym of what every girl loves to use as her number one excuse, and what every guy fears so greatly.  When you’re heated “PMS,” when you’re sad “PMS,” and when you have extremely horrid cravings for chocolate and anything containing salt then again cry the wonderful letters of “PMS.”  Getting so used to crying those three little words definitely helps steer females away from any sort of confrontation due to extremely angry outbursts or having the tendency to act like a crazy food monster.

Second, comes the mysterious eyelash-bat that is guaranteed every girl has ultimately perfected throughout the years.  Look at a boy and flap those eyelashes like there’s no tomorrow and BAM!  You got him wrapped around your finger.

Then come our accessories, our pride and joys; earrings, scarfs, necklaces, and best of all…purses.  The convenience of this wonderful invention is definitely a major perk in girl world.  Stuffed with everything a woman could possibly need to be alive. That oversized bag, holds all of her dirty little secrets.  It is also way better than having to stick a wallet in your pocket, like most men, unless they themselves carry a man purse, which is just kind of sad in itself.

Lace; pink; frilly; boy-shorts; bikini style; low-cut; thongs; the obscenely amount of choices of underwear we have at our disposal is an amazing thing.  Unlike men who have all of about three choices of boxer-briefs, girls have hundreds of choices, and the underwear world is one we love and take pride in.  What greatness it is to be a woman, isn’t it?

Makeup plays a huge role in the lives of every girl. Well… most girls.  For men, if you’re seen as ugly, you are ugly, end of story.  But for girls we have evil little ways to trick everyone around us.  We use makeup to fix our flaws, cover up those blemishes, and in some cases-completely change who we truly are.  This feeds into our ability to also be pristine liars. Being able to completely create a false version of yourself is quite a talent, and comes in extremely useful.

With testosterone comes hair, with hair comes hair EVERYWHERE, and with hair everywhere come some intense shaving sessions; the face, the back, and possibly even the chest for those gorilla-men out there.   Not having to take part in man-scaping of the entire body is a definite perk of being a girl. So don’t complain ladies, in this category men are way worse off.  Hair-free, hallelujah!

Living in the world of  PMS, makeup and feeling like a queen definitely comes with its positives.  No gorilla bodies, feeling like a Victoria’s Secret model in your underwear, and being the ultimate liar.  And although there are some negatives to living in this kind of twisted messed up world, there are some definite perks of having ovaries.