My Journey with Heroin
I died inside on July 28th 2014.
I found out that my best friend, my boyfriend, and my partner in crime passed away in the early morning, just hours after I spoke to him.
His killer was silent and deadly; it took him over and killed him before he truly died.
Heroin.
It was not until recently that I began investigating into the dark world of this killer-drug. It’s not only my enemy, the thing that stole someone I truly loved, but it strangely is also something I have become obsessed with learning more about.
Heroin’s dark addictive power began taking over my friend in December of 2013 and began eating away at him until his last moments.
After researching, some things I experienced, saw, and tried to make sense of, slowly the truth started to come into view.
My friend kept his dark secret hidden from those hidden around him for months and months, I failed to realize one could do this with heroin because I didn’t understand there were other ways besides injection, in which heroin can be used.
Heroin can not only be injected, but also smoked or inhaled. Smoking and inhaling is psychologically easier for a teen to start using and continue using heroin, and it also provides protection, seeing that it is harder to detect someone using when they do not inject it.
Slowly, I noticed my friend, moving more sluggish, and lacking to understand simple things. At that time, I didn’t understand these were some of the side effects of the drug.
Other symptoms include slowed walking, nausea, vomiting, itching, diarrhea, rashes, erectile dysfunction (males), bruises or scabs, involuntary kicking, cold flashes and muscle and bone pain.
Increased loss in the senses also may occur after using heroin. Smell is virtually gone, sound becomes muffled, and because the addict’s body virtually goes numb, the ability to orgasm is lost as well.
My friend’s body was cold and feeling-less. His vision was worsening, he could never hear a thing I said, and he could not feel if someone brushed against him.
There were other signs, not necessarily physical that I should have been paying attention to. Slowly, a guy who was always into fashion and looking good, let his appearance and personal hygiene deteriorate. People constantly were commenting on the same pair of pants he wore for weeks on end, the bitter smell emanating off his body, and his aggressive weight gain.
He began to change who he was. He was deceptive and lied constantly. He stole, and had angry outbursts where he would start throwing things. He would push people against a wall, hold knives to their throats. Money became his one passion in life to feed his addiction; this is when the drugs started to take him over.
He also began acting up in school. He went from being an honor roll and honor society student, to barely showing up to stay home and drink, getting arrested and doing drugs at work.
Other behavioral signs include: lying or deceptive behavior, avoiding eye contact, increases in sleep, slurred or incoherent speech, loss of motivation, withdrawal from friends and family, repeatedly stealing money, hostile behavior, and decline in self-esteem.
The fact that I did not recognize these signs before-hand haunts me every day. But that is another sign of a heroin addict. They make sure to keep it hidden from people they are closest to because they know their loved ones will fight the hardest to make them quit.
At first it began as something he was just “trying out” it wasn’t a “problem,” he claimed. Anytime anyone asked him about it or displayed concern he instantly was on the defense mode.
The biggest problem with heroin is that it is dirt cheap. The drug journey typically begins with prescription pills such as OxyContin, but once the addict’s habit becomes too expensive to continue, he or she usually turns to the cheaper drug with similar effects. (Heroin)
Another problem is that the purity of heroin is not closely monitored. There is virtually no way to tell how pure or clean the heroin that someone is using is. Heroin is responsible for an obscene amount of deaths and overdoses due to its lack of purity. Drug dealers often mix it with other harsh chemicals to not only make it stronger, but to make more of it. These harsh chemicals often are unable to be handled by human’s bodies and causes overdose and in the worse of cases, death.
Heroin is an evil that not only steals the lives of the addict, but also their family and friends. The addict says and does things they normally wouldn’t, and the drug becomes who they are, not just something they do.
My friend was given “bad heroin” or “dirty heroin” on the night of July 28th 2014. After getting in a fight with him, I refused to go see him like I planned to; he was acting psychotic and angry, he wasn’t himself. The last thing he said to me was “No one will ever love you the way that I love you.” And when I responded to his text the next morning, I was already too late.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, get help immediately.
National Referral Center for Heroin Addiction 855-374-3170
Recovery Hotline 1-888-299-8125.
You can also go to your local hospital for detox, or research local methadone rehabs.
http://www.recovery.org/topics/find-a-reputable-heroin-addiction-recovery-hotline/
Todd Ruland • Nov 18, 2014 at 8:06 pm
This article took a lot of courage to write Ashley – an important message for people to hear. Thank you.
Molly Rollins • Nov 12, 2014 at 3:09 pm
This is truly amazing, Ashley. Beyond well said.
Mr. Harty • Oct 14, 2014 at 11:03 am
I can’t even imagine how hard this article was to write. Thank you for being so honest, and getting the word out there.
Megan Walsh • Oct 13, 2014 at 8:00 pm
I thought this article was really well written and completely different from anything on this site. It’s so important for people to know these things, and I’m glad a topic like this one was finally talked about on here.