How to be a Typical White Suburban Teen Girl (a.k.a Pentucket)

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TSM

1. End the night by setting a slew of alarms before realizing just to the greatest extent you hate school.  Then on to Tweet/Facebook just how much you are excited for #Summer2014 and #CantWait for school to end.

2. Take off you makeup, and put on a facemask, and continually Snapchat your crush trying to be cute.  Then make it your Snapchat story, but making sure to put a heavy edit on it to make sure no one can see your naked, night time face! That would be BAD.

3. Hop in the bath tub: try to make it look artsy, light a few candles, bring a book and add some bubbles; then you’re ready for the oh so typical bath tub selfie, taking place on most teen girls’ Instagram.  But of course, make sure your legs are partially in the photo as well!  It’ll TOTALLY get you more likes.

4. When you wake up in the morning, make sure to get either Starbucks or Dunkin Doughnuts.  This is a must do.  Also accompany that with a good morning post of some artsy picture of your coffee. #GoodMorning #ILoveCoffee #Yum

5. You have to stay connected, even while in school.  So make sure to; post at least every hour letting all your followers know all the recent drama.  “Ew, tuna for lunch? #Gross” or “OMG Brad literally wont text me back, whatever. #HatersGunnaHate”

6. During lunch make sure to complain about everything there is to eat, and then probably decide to eat nothing because you are “on a diet.”

7. On your way out of school make sure to roll your windows down and blast some Katy Perry.  Then post on some social media site how perfect it is outside; following with #BeachDay.

8. Once you’re home, post how much you eat after school, there goes your “diet”, and then continue to post how amazing it feels to take of your bra. #YoungAndWildAndFree

9. After you take a shower post about your big t-shirts and bootie shorts, and then take a full-mirror selfie trying to be cute.

10. Repeat.